Fantasy Football from The Fantasy Addicts

Fantasy Football Preview: Week 2

I am no Stradamus, but like him, I have some predictions of my own.

1 O’Clock games

Carolina @ Atlanta…Look for DeAngelo to bounce back this week.  I know the Dolphins didn’t do much on the ground last week vs. Atlanta but I like DeAngelo to have a solid game in this one.  The Panthers will be handing the ball off a bunch just to prevent Delhomme from turning it over so much.  For that reason I don’t like Steve Smith as much this week.  For Atlanta, I like T-Gonz.  Hell, I have him on 2 of my 3 fantasy teams, so I like him every week.  I’m not sold on Roddy White, maybe T-Gonz coming to the ATL has hurt his value as a fantasy player.  I do however like Matt Ryan to have another solid performance.  Philly averaged 5.8 yards per carry last week against the Panthers, so I like ‘Burner’ Turner to break the 100 yard mark.

Minnesota @ Detroit…I’m salivating at the thought of what Adrian Peterson could do to the LOLions Sunday.  He had 180 and 3 TD’s on a grass field last week, so that converts to 200 and 4 on turf.  The only other guy I really like for the Vikes is their swiss army knife, Percy Harvin.  As for Detroit, there are 2 people I like…Calvin and Johnson.  He’s a beast on a sorry squad, so start him every week.

Cincinnati @ Green Bay…Ever since I found out that Carson Palmer has lady parts, I vowed never to draft him again.  And I stuck to my guns this year.  With that being said I really don’t like anybody for Cincy this week against a very good Green Bay defense.  So if you have quicksand legs-aka Cedric Benson-I would sit him as well.  Look for the Pack to put up some points this week.  Aaron Rodgers will have a good game, much better than the 184 and 1 he had against my Chicago Bears.  For that same reason, I like Greg Jennings to have a strong game.  Ryan Grant had a TD last week but only averaged 3.8 yards per carry.  Look for him to bounce back and get at or near 100 yards. 

All Cedric Benson owners should adhere to this.

Houston @ Tennessee…You just have to love what Dunta Robinson did last week.  The Texans fined Robinson $25,000 for conduct detrimental to the team Wednesday for wearing shoes that read “Pay Me, Rick” on the back.  Those three words on the back of his shoes were directed at general manager Rick Smith, who designated Robinson as the franchise player when they failed to agree on a long-term contract in February.  I am doing this.  “Pay Me, Denny” will be on the back of my kicks tomorrow.  Note: Denny is not my boss’ actual name.  That way if he ever reads this, he can’t fire me.  And in response, his shoes would read “Come to work, on time, Eddie”. 

For the Texans, I like Andre Johnson.  Santonio and Hines both had over 100 yards against the Titans last week so I don’t see why Andre the Johnson can’t do the same.  Besides, they won’t be able to run against 10-a-key, so sit Slaton.  Justin Gage and Kenny Britt had solid fantasy numbers against Pitt, but I think that was more of a result of them not being able to run on the defending champs.  I think Gage will have a solid game.  He seems to be Kerry Collins go-2-guy.  Look for Chris Johnson to have a big game and I also think LenDale will cross the goal line in this one.  Note:  Maybe LenDale should get back on the tequila, because a fat ass can only help near the G-line.

Oakland @ Kansas City…Ewww.  I hope this game is not televised.  If Matt Cassel plays this week then you should start him and Dwyane Bowe.  I actually like Bowe either way.  I don’t like LJ.  Richard Seymour made a big difference for the Raiders’ D last week while allowing the Chargers to get just 3.3 yards per carry.  As for Oakland, I like run DMC and Bush this week.  The Ravens ran all over the Chiefs and I think Oakland will try to do the same.  I know Louis Murphy had a decent 1st game but I don’t like any of the Raiders’ WR’s.  Zach Miller is JaMarcus Jabooty Russell’s safety valve, so start ‘em unless you have a better option at TE. 

New England @ NY Jets…Now this one should be interesting.  I wanna see this one more than any other game this weekend.  Not only because of the trash talking that’s been taking place but for the chess match that will take place between Rex Ryan’s defense and Bill Beli’s offense.  I happen to think that the Jets defensive performance against the Texans last week was no fluke, and they will undoubtedly cause some problems for the Brady bunch.  With that being said, I still like Brady to have a nice fantasy day.  His favorite targets-Randy and Wes-are must starts every week.  I don’t like Ben ‘I sound like I’m from London’ Watson this week.  He’ll be too concerned with David Harris trying to take his head off.  It would be wise to sit all NE RB’s.  Their backfield is a cluster f*ck, a sausage party.  In fact, it’s like IHOS…International House of Sausage.  J-E-T-S, Brett, Brett, Brett.  Wait, he’s a Viking now.  J-E-T-S, Mark Sanchez.  The rookie had a nice debut, but I wouldn’t look to start him against the Pats.  I do like Leon Washington this week and I’m starting him in my 16-team league.  I’m not so sure about Thomas Jones.  He had over a 100 and 2 TD’s last week but I don’t see him duplicating that against the Pats.  Cotchery should have a solid game being that he’s the #1 receiver in NY now. 

New Orleans @ Philadelphia…Drew Brees looked like ‘fantasy Jesus’ last week.  If so, then Philly’s D was the anti-Christ, just ask Delhomme.  So something has to give.  Brees will have a good fantasy day again, but don’t expect 6 TD’s.  I’m guessing he’ll have 3 this week and possibly a couple of picks and/or fumbles to go with it.  So who will those 3 TD passes go to?  That is the question my son-friends.  I’m starting Lance Moore in 1 league so I’m hoping he gets 1 of ‘em.  Let’s say the other 2 will be split between Colston and dare I say it, Shockey.  I’m sitting Bush this week and will continue to do so until he proves me wrong.  Don’t expect Mike Bell to run wild on the Iggles like he did in Detroit last week.  In Philly the big question is on Donovan’s health and whether or not he will start.  Scientific tests have shown that Chunky soup does nothing to improve a cracked rib, so I’m sitting Dono this week.  Another reason is that he threw for only 79 yards last week.  If you have Dono, please do not start Kevin ‘corn on the’ Kolb.  Find somebody else to go with.  Luckily for me I drafted ’sweet’ Shaun Hill and I’m goin with him over an injured Dono.  If McNabb doesn’t play, then I don’t like any of the Philly WR’s.  If he does, then start DeSean Jackson with confidence.  Either way, the Iggles will focus more on the running game this week so I like Westbrook to have a big day. 

St. Louis @ Washington…Watching the Rams is like having a cat piss in your eyes.  It’s painful.  Don’t start any Rams.  I happen to like several ‘Skins this week though.  Clinton Porti-John will dump all over the Rams D.  I’m starting Santana Moss in one league and Randle-El in another.  I also like Jason Campbell and Chris Cooley this week.  Chainsaw Dan, he’s our man, if he can’t do it, then he’ll sue more fans. 

Maybe she should have played more bingo to supplement her income.

Arizona @ Jacksonville…The Cards really let me down last week.  I had a premonition at about 11:30 Sunday morning.  I was outside smoking a cigarette looking skyward for a sign of some kind that might help me know what was going to happen on the first Sunday of the season.  And there it was!  A plane flew by overhead and it hit me.  “Everything that flies will prevail” was the voice I heard in my head.  It was even more apparent when me and my buddy were sitting in his car at about noon smoking a um, cigarette, and we saw a little bird sitting on a sign right in front of us.  It was like he was trying to tell us the same thing.  Man, those cigarettes take you to a higher state of consciousness.  Anyway, it turned out to be true.  Well, almost.  The Falcons, Eagles, Ravens, Jets and Seahawks all won-and most of them were impressive victories.  Me and my roommate argued about whether or not the Saints and Chargers could be considered things that fly.  I wasn’t buying that 1 but they both won also.  The lone team with a flying mascot that did not win was?  You guessed it, the Cardinals.  I have Warner on 1 team and Fitz and Boldin together on another.  I sat Boldin last week because he was injured but I’m starting both this week.  So I’m hoping for good numbers from all 3.  Manning threw for just over 300 yards against the Jags last week and we all know the Cards can’t run.  Don’t expect too many more 12 reception outings for those of you who picked up Hightower this week.  RB’s just don’t catch the ball that much, not consistently anyway.  One thing I did like about the Cards last week was there run D.  Frank Gore had 22 carries for 30 yards!  But for those of you that drafted MJD, you have to roll with your # 1 draft pick.  Maybe he can make up for the lack of rushing yards with some catches out of the backfield.  I’m not a big fan of Garrard or the Jags passing game.

Cardinal Kurt Warner…proof that some cardinals don’t fly.

4 O’Clock games

Tampa Bay @ Buffalo…In looking for a replacement for McNabb I keep coming across this Leftwich fella on the waiver wire, but cannot find the gumption to pull the trigger on picking him up.  Maybe it’s because I’ve seen him play before.  He looked good last week but I don’t trust it.  For that same reason, I don’t like any of the Tampa WR’s.  The Bucs do have a new toy in the backfield.  The Cadillac ain’t sittin on cinder blocks no mo’.  I drafted him in 1 league but didn’t start him last week.  I won’t be making the same mistake twice.  On a couple of runs against the ‘Boys last week he looked like a cadillac in a head-on collision with a 10-speed.  He was running people over!  Derrick Ward makes the Tampa backfield picture a little more cloudy, but they can’t both be beasts every week.  So go with ‘da Lac’ this week.  New England shadowed TO very effectively and held him to just 2 catches.  Look for TO to bounce back this week.  I wouldn’t start Evans until he proved himself if I was you.  Fred Jackson did a good job in filling in for the suspended Marshawn Lynch last week, but don’t look for him to go beast mode against the Bucs.  As for Trent Edwards, only start him if you have to. 

Seattle @ San Francisco…The Seahawks were dominant last week.  But everybody looks dominant against the Rams.  John Carlson appears to be Hasselbeck’s BFF, so start him with confidence.  Nate Burleson would have had a good game if he wasn’t so fumblicious last week.  I don’t trust players whose favorite candy bar is butterfingers, so sit ‘em.  I think Housh-man will have a solid game but nothing to write home about.  Julius Jones was 1 of only 5 backs to have 100 yards last week.  Guess what?  P. Willis will make sure that doesn’t happen again.  Sit Julius.  I think Gore will put up better rushing numbers this week and I like him for atleast 1 score.  Like I said before, I’m starting Shaun Hill, but only because I don’t have any better options.  I do like father time, Isaac Bruce, to produce this week.  He’s Hill’s # 1 guy.  I would make Vernon Davis prove he can get it done before I went with him.  There are just too many good TE’s out there to settle for his 40 receiving yards every week.   

Pittsburgh @ Chicago…Rape-lisberger put up big numbers last week because the Steelers couldn’t run the ball at all against the Titans.  He won’t have 300 yards passing in this one but I can see him throwing a couple TD’s.  The Bears lost Urlacher for the year so I look for Willie Parker to bounce back.  I still don’t think he hits the 100 yard mark and we all know about his troubles at the goal line.  For those reasons, he’s staying put on my bench this week.  Santonio Holmes looked like the Super Bowl MVP last week.  I was not expecting that at all.  I like Holmes again in this one.  Hines Ward also had over 100 yards last week but he won’t in this one.  Now to ’da Bears’.  I’m a huge Bears fan.  Needless to say, I was torn up about the loss on Sunday night.  Especially after that horrible fake punt play late in the game on their own 32-yard line.  I think Cutler will do a better job of taking what the defense gives him this week.  So look for Matt Forte to get catches out the backfield on the check-downs from Cutler.  But you can’t run on the Steelers, so if you have a better defensive match-up with another RB, then start ‘em over Forte.  The Steelers will probably be focusing on the speedy Hester who scored last week.  That is why I like Bennett and Olsen this week.  Bennett is Cutler’s BFF from Vanderbilt and I know Olsen disappointed many fantasy owners in his debut, but he will have a solid game this week. 

Baltimore @ San Diego…Rex Ryan is no longer in B-more and the Ravens D gave up 24 points to the Chiefs with Brodie Croyle at the helm.  If that’s any indication, then this one should be a shoot-out.  I like Flacco, Derrick Mason, Ray Rice and even Willis McGahee.  As for the lightning bolts, I like Rivers, V-Jax, Gates and Darren Sproles.  LT hasn’t practiced all week because of an ankle injury but continue to monitor reports.  If he gets the start then you should start him as well.  Sit Chambers.

Cleveland @ Denver…I don’t know what to make of this one.  Both offenses looked impotent last week.  So I think it’s gonna be a mirror image of the Denver/Cincy game last week, minus the Immaculate Reception Part Deux.  I have too many Browns on my fantasy teams.  I have Braylon on 2 teams and Cribbs on 1.  I’m starting Cribbs over Braylon in our 16-team league that rewards points for return yards.  And I’m sitting Braylon in my other league as well.  He’s gotta prove himself to me 1st before I give him any more playing time.  I didn’t like Jamal Lewis before the season and still don’t like him now.  Kyle Orton is Mr. Fantasy Irrelevant.  Hopefully he doesn’t do the same to Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal.  I’m sitting Royal this week.  I’m also sitting Knowshon Moreno.  And I tell you this, if he don’t produce this week, then I know ‘Shon will be up on the trading block.

Sunday night game

NY Giants @ Dallas…I’m looking forward to the video board getting beamed a few times by Giants punter Jeff Feagles.  Wait, Feagles is 143 years old!  His legs just don’t have the power to get it up there.  They should do some kind of cool promotion, like “Free Corn Dogs…if punt hits video board”.  If you have Eli Manning, then hopefully you drafted him just as a bench player and that is exactly where he should stay, on the bench.  He’s a great QB when it comes to winning, but not when it comes to his fantasy numbers.  I like Brandon Jacobs in this one.  If a cadillac can run over some Cowboys then a bulldozer is sure to due some damage as well.  Nobody knows what to make of the Giants receiving core, so you can take a chance on one of ‘em if you want to, but I’ll pass.  Romo is a must start every week.  Crayton had a big game week 1 and I actually think he will outperform Roy Williams in this one too.  Everybody knows Witten is Romo’s butt-buddy, which makes him even closer to Romo than a BFF, so he should only see the bench during the ‘Boys’ bye week.  Marion ‘The Barbarian’ will find the treading tough against the G-men so I would sit him and any other Cowboys’ backs for this one.

Monday night game

Indianapolis @ Miami…A-Gonz is out up to 8 weeks, which means Peyton will be going to his old faithfuls, Wayne and Clark.  Sounds like a law firm…Manning, Wayne and Clark.  ’Burner’ Turner had just 65 yards on 22 carries against the Dolphins last week so I would sit Addai.  I like Ronnie Brown to bounce back this week and have a strong game against the Colts.  I like him for 100 yards and atleast 1 TD.  Pennington is one of the most accurate QB’s in history, but that water pistol he has for an arm doesn’t help his fantasy stats.  That also means they don’t have a WR worth mentioning.  

I wonder if Gary and Wyatt can create the ultimate fantasy player?

Team D/ST…The following are Team Defenses/Special Teams that I would start this week…Vikings, Packers, Titans, Redskins and Steelers.  I have the Patriots D/ST in one league and for lack of a better option I’m staying with them against the Jets.  

Survivor Pick…Don’t overthink it.  The Lions didn’t win a game last year and gave up a record number of TD passes for an opening day game in week 1.  Doesn’t look like things have gotten much better.  Like last week, I’m picking against them and going with Minnesota.  The only other game I would even consider this week is Washington over St. Louis but I just don’t trust that one as much.

no Stradamus upset prediction…I predict my Chicago Bears will defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers this week.  Now stop laughing and go put some money on it.  And when they win, don’t forget to break me off a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’.  C’mon, really, it’s not that funny.