Fantasy Football from The Fantasy Addicts

Fantasy Football Preview: Week 7

Madden died.  What reason is there to live?

Oh yeah, fantasy football!  I have a Xbox LIVE account and play Madden NFL 10 religiously.  And I can say that truthfully because I usually pray for divine intervention when I’m losing a game.  I have a decent record at 16-7 (If you ever wanna catch a beat down my Gamertag is ALLMADDEN4298, punks!).  But anyway, as I was sayin’, I own Madden and it recently died on me.  How?  Microsoft made a crappy machine that sometimes overheats and it burned a perfect ring around the disk (Thanks a lot Bill Gates!).  Now it just says ‘unreadable’ when I try to play it.  What does this have to do with fantasy football?  Everything I tell you, everything.  Allow me to explain.  Madden is one of the most knowledgeable men of all-time when it comes to the NFL – I say ‘men’ because we all know a woman will never know as much about football as a man – and in this week’s fantasy preview, I’ll use Madden 10 to help me figure things out.  By the way, that sexist comment was a joke.  In fact, I know a very special lady who has picked like the last 20 Super Bowl winners in a row – hi mom -and I couldn’t even get last year’s right.  But I digress.  Madden has a very sophisticated system for player ratings that’s updated – if I’m not mistaken – on a weekly basis (If you play online).  For example, Ronnie Brown’s and Ricky Williams’ player ratings both increased in the latest version of the roster updates for Madden because they ran the Wildcat – or as I like to call it, the Catfish – all over the Jets’ D in their last game.  This means the video game mirrors the actual NFL more than ever, making for extremely realistic gameplay.  So this week, I’m using Madden 10 to predict fantasy stats by simulating every game on the Xbox 360!  How can I do this if Madden died you ask?  Easy, my roommate bought a new one (His eagerness to do so raises my level of suspicion that he destroyed the first one somehow.  But I can play again, so I won’t ask any questions).

Note:  Okay, I last thing.  Anybody who has played the video game is familiar with the ‘ask Madden’ option.  You can choose to call your own plays during a game or you can select the ‘ask Madden’ option and have him (the computer) choose the plays for you randomly.  And anyone who’s played also knows that if you do this for every play you will surely lose, and probably by a lot.  (I think Tennessee’s coach – Jeff Fisher – put it on autopilot last week and selected ‘ask Madden’ for every play call in that 59-0 embarrassment at New England).  So if Madden (the computer) generates any crazy scores, I won’t ask Madden.  I’ll step in and call my own play, so to speak.

1 o’clock games

GB @ CLE…

Madden 10 updated team ratings…GB 82 CLE 67

Simulated Score…GB 21 CLE 24

Player Stats…

Aaron Rodgers 263 yds 3 tds 0 ints        Derek Anderson 182 yds 1 td 1 int

Ryan Grant 51 rush yds                                Jamal Lewis 114 rush yds 1 td

Greg Jennings 7 rec 120 yds 3 tds           Mohamed Massaquoi 4 rec 47 yds

Donald Driver 5 rec 61 yds                         Jerome Harrison 30 rush yds 1 td…1 rec 64 yds 1 td

James Jones 3 rec 50 yds                            Josh Cribbs 134 KR yds 96 PR yds

Jermichael Finley 0

Looks like Green Bay chose the ‘ask Madden’ option a few too many times in this one.  No way they lose to the Browns on Sunday.  Here’s what else I would change about the simulated outcome…the video game obviously loves Jennings way too much.  He won’t get 3 tds.  And Jerome Harrison is not that good in real life.  Jamal Lewis isn’t either.  No donut for Finley.  But everything else looked pretty good.

On To The Next One…

SD @ KC…

Team Ratings…SD 86 KC 66

Simulated Score…SD 39 KC 33

Player Stats…

Philip Rivers 129 yds 1 td 0 ints…1 rush td                  Matt Cassel 191 yds 0 td 0 ints

LaDainian Tomlinson 226 yds 2 tds                             Larry Johnson 51 yds 1 td

Darren Sproles 10 rush yds…2 rec 20 yds…234 KR yds 1 td

Dwayne Bowe 3 rec 47 yds

Vincent Jackson 4 rec 72 yds 1 td

Antonio Gates 1 rec 12 yds

The game said some dude for the Chiefs named Quinten Lawrence was going to return 2 kickoffs for tds and have 228 KR yds.  I better pick him up on the waiver wire now!  NOT!  Take that away, plus some of LT’s yards and give them to Sproles, give Rivers more passing yards to Gates, and there’s your game.

IND @ STL…

Team Ratings…IND 91 STL 66

Simulated Score…IND 66 STL 28

Peyton Manning 409 yds 5 tds 0 ints        Marc Bulger 221 yds 2 tds 1 int

Kyle Boller went 0 for 2 on passing attempts in this one which means Bulger probably got hurt during the simulated game; or the video game’s artificial intelligence has become so advanced they decided to pull Bulger for having a bad game.  We will never know for sure.

Joseph Addai 194 rush yds 3 tds                 Steven Jackson 46 rush yds…4 rec 11 yds

Reggie Wayne 10 rec 152 yds 2 tds            Donnie Avery 3 rec 21 yds 1 td

Pierre Garcon 9 rec 112 yds                          Mike Karney (FB) 2 rec 65 yds 1 td

Dallas Clark 5 rec 56 yds 1 td

Austin Collie 3 rec 89 yds 2 tds

Conclusion…Madden 10 sucks Peyton Manning’s dick big time!  They love the guy.  But they are playing the Rams, so it could happen.  Addai owners:  Um, don’t expect 194 and 3.

Note:  The computer is not giving much love to backup RBs.  Donald Brown will get some of Addai’s numbers.  Also, I have quarter length set to 10 minutes for more realistic stats.  Since they seem to be somewhat inflated, I’ll have to set it back to 8 minute quarters instead.

MIN @ PIT…

I can’t wait for this one!  Both QBs – Brett and Big Ben – have been as dangerous and hot as a hillbilly hot tub!

Let’s see what Madden 10 has to say…

Team Ratings…MIN 87 PIT 89

Simulated Score…MIN 44 PIT 30

Player Stats…

Brett Favre 73 yds 0 tds 0 ints                        Ben Roethlisberger 198 yds 2 tds 1 int

Adrian Peterson 147 rush yds 2 tds              Rashard Mendenhall 0

Chester Taylor 139 rush yds 2 tds 1 fum     Willie Parker 73 rush yds

Sidney Rice 2 rec 13 yds                                     Hines Ward 5 rec 52 yds 1 td

Bernard Berrian 1 rec 14 yds                            Santonio Holmes 3 rec 87 yds 1 td

Percy Harvin 0                                                       Mike Wallace 3 rec 30 yds

Visanthe Shiancoe 1 rec 20 yds                      Heath Miller 3 rec 29 yds

No way the Vikings get 286 rushing yards like they did in this one.  Favre only attempted 9 passes!  Expect Minnesota’s passing numbers to be up and rush totals down.  Expect better numbers from Big Ben and Hines Ward as well.

Peterson must have been hurt during the game because Chester had more than twice the number of carries.

Parker is listed as the starter on the video game so expect Mendenhall to get those yards.

NE @ TB…

New England playing in old England (This game’s being played in London).

Team Ratings…NE 89 TB 67

Simulated Score…NE 41 TB 10

Player Stats…

Tom Brady 276 yds 4 tds 2 ints                         Byron Leftwich 132 yds 1 td 3 ints

Laurence Maroney 80 rush yds 1 fum…2 rec 16 yds 1 td

Carnell Williams 51 rush yds

Kevin Faulk 8 rush yds                                       Derrick Ward 3 rush yds…1 rec 7 yds

Randy Moss 6 rec 87 yds 1 td                            Antonio Bryant 4 rec 66 yds

Wes Welker 8 rec 129 yds 1 td…122 PR yds

Ben Watson 0                                                        Kellen Winslow 0

The computer obviously hates TEs.

Leftwich is listed as the starter and I’m too lazy to change it.  Besides, Josh Johnson will probably have similar numbers anyway.

Sammy Morris is also still listed as a starter so I gave his stats to Maroney.

Joey Galloway is still on the Patriots roster and had a td in this one so let’s give it to Randy, which would give him 2 (I like that better because I have Randy in 2 leagues).

SF @ HOU…

Michael Crabtree debuts in his home state.

Team Ratings…SF 77 HOU 76

Simulated Score…SF 20 HOU 35

Shaun Hill 165 yds 1 td 1 int        Matt Schaub 151 yds 2 tds 0 ints…65 rush yds 1 td

Frank Gore 87 rush yds…3 rec 65 yds                Steve Slaton 99 rush yds 1 fum

Michael Crabtree 0                                                  Andre Johnson 4 rec 78 yds 1 td

Vernon Davis 3 rec 91 yds 1 td                              Owen Daniels 1 rec 5 yds

Kevin Walter 1 rec 63 yds 1 td

Jacoby Jones 99 PR yds 1 td

4 o’clock games

BUF @ CAR…

Team Ratings…BUF 71 CAR 78

Simulated Score…BUF 13 CAR 20

Ryan Fitzpatrick (Trent Edwards is out this week) 146 yds 1 td

Jake Delhomme 86 yds 0 td 0 int

Marshawn Lynch 27 rush yds

DeAngelo Williams 179 rush yds 1 td…2 rec 25 yds

Fred Jackson 51 rush yds…3 rec 31 yds

Jonathan Stewart 17 rush yds

Lee Evans 3 rec 53 yds                                          Muhsin Muhammad 2 rec 30 yds

Terrell Owens 3 rec 43 yds 1 td                           Steve Smith 1 rec 26 yds

TO is still overrated on the game at 87 overall (out of a possible 100).

NYJ @ OAK…

Team Ratings…NYJ 84 OAK 69

Simulated Score…NYJ 21 OAK 13

Player Stats…

Mark Sanchez 69 yds 1 td 0 ints

JaMarcus Russell 204 yds 1 td 2 ints

Thomas Jones 70 rush yds…1 rec 5 yds

Michael Bush 67 rush yds…1 rec 9 yds

Leon Washington 19 rush yds…1 rec 7ds…30 KR yds…36 PR yds

Justin Fargas 7 rush yds…2 rec 18 yds

Braylon Edwards 2 rec 26 yds 1 td

Darrius Hayward-Bey 4 rec 87 yds

Zach Miller 4 rec 56 yds

Louis Murphy 2 rec 21 yds 1 td

The Jets only scored one offensive td, so they must have had 2 defensive td’s in this one; which is very probable given that Jabooty is the opposing QB.

ATL @ DAL…

Team Ratings…ATL 84 DAL 84

Simulated Score…ATL 21 DAL 24

Player Stats…

Matt Ryan 137 yds 1 td 1 int                                        Tony Romo 194 yds 1 td 4 ints

Michael Turner 77 rush yds…2 rec 11 yds           Marion Barber 38 rush yds

Jerious Norwood 130 KR yds 1 td

Felix Jones 137 rush yds 2 tds…2 rec 16 yds 1 td…53 KR yds

Roddy White 1 rec 11 yds

Miles Austin 4 rec 63 yds…77 KR yds

Tony Gonzalez 0                                               Jason Witten 1 rec 13 yds

Brian Finneran 2 rec 86 yds 1 td                  Patrick Crayton 4 rec 50 yds…25 PR yds

Boost up ATL’s passing stats – Ryan, Roddy and T-Gonz – for the real game Sunday.

CHI @ CIN…

Between Benson being blackballed and  the Ochocinco/Jay Cutler tweet war, there has been plenty of trash talking in anticipation of Sunday’s showdown.

Team Ratings…CHI 80 CIN 79

Simulated Score…CHI 31 CIN 14

Player Stats…

Jay Cutler 225 yds 2 tds 1 int…30 rush yds           Carson Palmer 62 yds 0 tds 3 ints

Matt Forte 150 rush yds 1 td…1 rec 10 yds

Cedric Benson 118 rush yds 1 td…1 rec 8 yds

Devin Hester 4 rush yds…2 rec 74 yds 1 td…35 KR yds

Chad Ochocinco 2 rec 16 yds

Johnny Knox 5 rec 58 yds                                         Andre Caldwell 0

(Rashied Davis had 5 rec for 58 yds.  I gave his stats to Johnny Knox.)

Greg Olsen 3 rec 31 yds 1 td                                       Chris Henry 1 rec 22 yds

Expect better numbers from the Bengals’ passing game (Carson, Ocho and Caldwell).

NO @ MIA…

Team Ratings…NO 87 MIA 77

Simulated Score…NO 24 MIA 31

Player Stats…

Drew Brees 330 yds 2 tds 1 int                               Chad Henne 105 yds 1 td 1 int

Pierre Thomas 46 rush yds 1 td…1 rec 15 yds…55 KR yds

Ronnie Brown 282 rush yds 2 tds

Mike Bell 0                                                                  Ricky Williams 15 rush yds

Reggie Bush 5 rush yds…1 rec 9 yds…8 PR yds

Ted Ginn Jr 3 rec 58 yds…150 KR yds 1 td

Marques Colston 7 rec 116 yds 1 td                       Lousaka Polite (FB) 1 rec 8 yds 1 td

Lance Moore 1 rec 10 yds

Devery Henderson 3 rec 60 yds

Robert Meachem 3 rec 37 yds

Jeremy Shockey 0

You know what really makes Madden’s dick hard?  The ‘Fins Catfish offense!  Ronnie will not hang 282 on the Saints D.

You know what else gets his dick hard?  Return tds.  There have been a ton in these simulated games.

ARI @ NYG…

The mentor vs the pupil (Kurt Warner played with the G-men when Eli was drafted).

Team Ratings…ARI 84 NYG 92

Simulated Score…ARI 35 NYG 28

Player Stats…

Kurt Warner 339 yds 3 tds 0 ints                      Eli Manning 249 yds 1 td 0 ints 1 fum

Tim Hightower 61 rush yds 1 td…2 rec 19 yds

Brandon Jacobs 48 rush yds 1 td

Beanie Wells 45 rush yds                                     Ahmad Bradshaw 132 KR yds 1 td

Larry Fitzgerald 3 rec 76 yds 1 td                       Mario Manningham 3 rec 48 yds

Anquan Boldin 4 rec 33 yds                                 Steve Smith 8 rec 97 yds 1 td

Steve Breaston 4 rec 114 yds 1 td                         Hakeem Nicks 2 rec 17 yds

Bradshaw with a donut in both rushing and receiving yards?  I don’t think so.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

PHI @ WAS…

The Iggles – with all their talent – lost to the Raiders last week.  Jim Zorn’s still the head coach, but Sherm Lewis is calling the plays in the nation’s capital now.  You can’t look away from a train wreck, and both teams look like one right now; so I guess I’m watching this one Monday night.

Team Ratings…PHI 90 WAS 75

Simulated Score…PHI 24 WAS 17

Player Stats…

Donovan McNabb 153 yds 1 td 0 ints           Jason Campbell 211 yds 1 td 3 ints

Brian Westbrook 42 rush yds…1 rec 11 yds

Clinton Portis 107 rush yds…3 rec 46 yds

DeSean Jackson 3 rec 69 yds…36 KR yds…25 PR yds

Jeremy Maclin 4 rec 42 yds                             Santana Moss 4 rec 79 yds 1 td

Brent Celek 1 rec 1 yd                                        Chris Cooley 1 rec 16 yds

LeSean McCoy 92 rush yds 1 td…1 rec 7ds 1 td

Give McNabb a few more passing yards and swap Westbrook’s and McCoy’s stats, and this one should be dead on.

There you have it.  Your fantasy stat predictions for week 7.  This is fantasy football son!  It’s important.  And in honor of all the Snickers’ advertisements in this year’s version of Madden, always remember to PREPARE FOR CHOMPETITION, CHEWS WISELY AND PLAY LIKE A CHOMPION.