Loading ...
Last week, I said that 4th place is the end of the world in fantasy football.
In this league only the 1st and 2nd place teams will get paid at the end of the season. So it’s a good thing I’m back in 2nd now. My team, the BRAHMA BULLS, finished last week with 1888.5 points to move out of the hell that is 4th place. Let’s take a look at the standings…
| Rank | Team | Points | Pts Change | Waiver | Moves |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | Apollyons | 16924.00 | 1442.00 | 10 | 41 |
| 2. | BRAHMA BULLS | 16016.50 | 1888.50 | 3 | 23 |
| 3. | Dwarven Stout | 16011.00 | 1570.00 | 2 | 35 |
| 4. | IBS Pies | 15577.00 | 1299.00 | 9 | 42 |
| 5. | Futbol Reggae | 15152.50 | 1976.00 | 7 | 48 |
| 6. | Southeast Jerome | 15136.50 | 1684.00 | 5 | 22 |
| 7. | Gigantors | 14868.00 | 1376.00 | 1 | 22 |
| 8. | caminators | 13446.00 | 1222.00 | 4 | 25 |
| 9. | Stars | 13164.50 | 1555.50 | 6 | 32 |
| 10. | Court Jesters | 12360.50 | 1210.00 | 8 | 31 |
IBS Pies, welcome to hell!…
Nice shoes. LOL! The ‘Pts Change’ column shows the scores from last week. Futbol Reggae took top honors, scoring 1976 pts. I’m too lazy to do the research, but I think that might be the highest score anybody has put up all season. Impressive! This week’s profile will be on the team currently just behind Futbol Reggae in the overall standings, Southeast Jerome.
Who is Southeast Jerome? He’s one of the many fictional characters Clinton Portis has developed to represent himself. These personas include names like ’Southeast Jerome’, ‘Coach Janky Spanky’, ‘Kid Bro Sweets’, ‘Choo-Choo’, ’Dollah Bill’, ‘Reverend Gonna Change’, ’Sheriff Gonna Getcha’, ‘Dr. Do-itch Big’, ‘Bud Foxx’, ‘Inspector 2-2′ and ‘Dolemite Jenkins’. If you’re not a big football fan, then you might be thinking like this cat right about now…
Have no fear. I’m here to break it down for you. First, this is Clinton Portis…
RB…#26…Washington Redskins
And these are his alter egos…
Southeast Jerome
Coach Janky Spanky
Here Portis is wearing a whistle, tight pants, a big fake gut, and oversized ears with a giant headset.
Kid Bro Sweets
Choo-Choo
Dollah Bill
Reverend Gonna Change
Sheriff Gonna Getcha
Dr. Do-itch Big
Bud Foxx
Inspector 2-2
And my personal favorite…
Dolemite Jenkins
Well, there you have it folks. I think we can all agree that Portis is a little strange, to say the least. But he is one hell of a football player. I also find it a little strange that the team named Southeast Jerome, doesn’t own the player named Southeast Jerome, Clinton Portis. Maybe he wanted to draft him, but missed out, and named the team that anyway. Sounds like a man crush to me!…
And finally, we have the starting rosters from last week…
| Apollyons | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Aaron Rodgers | |
| WR | Calvin Johnson | |
| WR | Larry Fitzgerald | |
| RB | Frank Gore | |
| RB | Jamaal Charles | |
| TE | Tony Gonzalez | |
| W/R | Kevin Smith | |
| K | Matt Prater | |
| DEF | Tennessee | |
| D | Jerod Mayo | |
| D | Jonathan Vilma | |
| D | Stephen Cooper | |
| Dwarven Stout | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Donovan McNabb | |
| WR | Andre Johnson | |
| WR | Anquan Boldin | |
| RB | Brian Westbrook | |
| RB | Jamal Lewis | |
| TE | Owen Daniels | |
| W/R | Marques Colston | |
| K | Rian Lindell | |
| DEF | Green Bay | |
| D | Gibril Wilson | |
| D | Omar Gaither | |
| D | Antoine Winfield | |
| BRAHMA BULLS | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Jay Cutler | |
| WR | Braylon Edwards | |
| WR | Brandon Marshall | |
| RB | Matt Forte | |
| RB | LaDainian Tomlinson | |
| TE | Bo Scaife | |
| W/R | Derrick Mason | |
| K | Robbie Gould | |
| DEF | Chicago | |
| D | D’Qwell Jackson | |
| D | Gary Brackett | |
| D | Karlos Dansby | |
| IBS Pies | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Peyton Manning | |
| WR | Plaxico Burress | |
| WR | Roddy White | |
| RB | Chris Johnson | |
| RB | Ray Rice | |
| TE | Anthony Fasano | |
| W/R | Vincent Jackson | |
| K | Rob Bironas | |
| DEF | New York | |
| D | Kirk Morrison | |
| D | Paul Posluszny | |
| D | Leroy Hill | |
| Futbol Reggae | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Matt Ryan | |
| WR | Wes Welker | |
| WR | Greg Camarillo | |
| RB | Thomas Jones | |
| RB | Steve Slaton | |
| TE | Dallas Clark | |
| W/R | Deuce McAllister | |
| K | Joe Nedney | |
| DEF | Carolina | |
| D | James Harrison | |
| D | Yeremiah Bell | |
| D | Chris Gamble | |
| Stars | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Brett Favre | |
| WR | Randy Moss | |
| WR | Muhsin Muhammad | |
| RB | Maurice Jones-Drew | |
| RB | DeAngelo Williams | |
| TE | John Carlson | |
| W/R | LenDale White | |
| K | Jason Elam | |
| DEF | Philadelphia | |
| D | D.J. Williams | |
| D | Jon Beason | |
| D | Charles Tillman | |
| caminators | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Drew Brees | |
| WR | Jerricho Cotchery | |
| WR | Dwayne Bowe | |
| RB | Ronnie Brown | |
| RB | Michael Turner | |
| TE | Visanthe Shiancoe | |
| W/R | Bernard Berrian | |
| K | David Akers | |
| DEF | Baltimore | |
| D | Nate Webster | |
| D | Eric Weddle | |
| D | Joey Porter | |
| Gigantors | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | David Garrard | |
| WR | Reggie Wayne | |
| WR | Greg Jennings | |
| RB | Brandon Jacobs | |
| RB | Kevin Faulk | |
| TE | Heath Miller | |
| W/R | Michael Jenkins | |
| K | John Carney | |
| DEF | Pittsburgh | |
| D | Justin Tuck | |
| D | Lance Briggs | |
| D | James Farrior | |
| Southeast Jerome | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Kurt Warner | |
| WR | Steve Smith | |
| WR | Marvin Harrison | |
| RB | Marshawn Lynch | |
| RB | Adrian Peterson | |
| TE | Tony Scheffler | |
| W/R | Ricky Williams | |
| K | Jeff Reed | |
| DEF | Houston | |
| D | Ernie Sims | |
| D | Brian Urlacher | |
| D | Patrick Willis | |
| Court Jesters | ||
|---|---|---|
| QB | Jake Delhomme | |
| WR | Laveranues Coles | |
| WR | Donald Driver | |
| RB | Tim Hightower | |
| RB | Chester Taylor | |
| TE | Antonio Gates | |
| W/R | Lee Evans | |
| K | Mason Crosby | |
| DEF | Minnesota | |
| D | Julian Peterson | |
| D | Chad Greenway | |
| D | Terrell Suggs | |
Maybe he should have named his team after one of Portis’ lesser known alter egos. The ‘Prime Minister Yah Mons’ has a nice ring to it…
3 responses so far ↓
1 Clinton On Best Political Blogs » Blog Archive » CPL: WEEK 10 RESULTS // Nov 13, 2008 at 2:23 am
[...] CPL: WEEK 10 RESULTS I also find it a little strange that the team named Southeast Jerome, doesn’t own the player named Southeast Jerome, Clinton Portis. Maybe he wanted to draft him, but missed out, and named the team that anyway. … [...]
2 Southeast Jerome // Nov 13, 2008 at 10:46 am
I suppose I should have gone with “Beast Mode” or “Wutchu talkin bout Willis”.
3 Eddie Lewis // Nov 13, 2008 at 1:03 pm
‘Beast Mode’ for Marshawn Lynch or ‘Wutchu talkin bout Willis’ for Patrick Willis would have been cool. Especially if you had put a picture of Webster up on your team profile. However, the best team name would have been the ‘Dolemite Jenkinses’!
Leave a Comment